Rule #9

If a new jar of Peter Pan Reduced Fat Crunchy Peanut Butter will not open no matter what you do to it (including your applied extreme brute force), it is not advisable to "cut" or "pry" the top off with a butcher knife. This maneuver may - or may not - lead to near disastrous consequences.

It will also lead you to believe that you might need a new outlet for your stress (since you have vowed to no longer remove your panties). Or therapy.

On the other hand, you will be able to enjoy your peanut butter just fine (you can also dig your old jar out of the trash and replace the frayed plastic shrapnel with the old lid). Congratulations on being resourceful. Or unsanitary.