Thursday, February 5, 2009

A Love/Hate Relationship With Undergarments

Yesterday my Baby Sis lamented the fact that she has yet to be featured in my "True Story Tuesdays". We brainstormed and realized that we have never been together during an event that would classify it as "True Story" material (trust me, this is a stringent and rigorous set of parameters). While we don't share many hijinks and shenanigans during our time together (which is truly hard to believe), my Sis and I do enjoy many a life episode via text including my new found affinity to discard my undies.*
* please note that this post will be less than ladylike or classy. I am admitting it now.

For some reason as of late, my work stress (which has been considerable) has manifested itself in an overwhelming desire to take my underwear off. In my opinion, the biggest fashion faux pas is visible panty lines. I suspect that few of you would disagree with me. I have never loved thongs nor found them particularly comfortable, but I do wear them on a regular basis with my work clothes, and while I don't enjoy the feeling, I can generally ignore it. That is until the Naked Beast inside of me rears its ugly head and commands me to remove them. On most occasions, I can ignore the urge, but in 3 separate instances now I've succumbed.

When my sister texted me to update me on her goings on, I confessed to her that I went to the restroom, remove said bodily offenders, placed them in one of the brown bags with which each stall's trashcan is equipped, then disposed of the bag in the larger trashcan. Truly, I'm not sure you can comprehend the relief. After the third instance, my sis responded,
"Sis , You cannot keep taking your panties off at work. That is just weird. Way weirder than anything I do."
To which I replied,
"It's nothing to worry about. Little and I went last night to buy five new pairs none of which are thongs, so I'm riding easy today."
Her immediate response,
"Haha I can't believe you made Mom go with you to buy new panties!"

She clearly does not understand the gravity of the situation. Our conversation then dissolved into musings of why she cannot be part of True Story Tuesday.

Sis: Wanna know how I already knew that you ate a PB&B?? Cause I read your BLOG. Too bad none of your true stories have been with me in them.
Me: What stories do we have together that I can share??? I would love to document one or more!
Sis: That's what I'm saying-- We don't have any hilar stories together!!! SADDDDDDD
Me: Let's make some this weekend, homes.
Sis: Hahaha ok. I've been thinking about it all day, because I figured we had to have had at least one really funny thing happen while we we're together.. but nothing noteworthy... I know we have some funnies.
Me: From our childhood. You got much more boring as you aged.
Sis: PAHA AS IF! I have BLOSSOMED with age. You never had this much fun with me!
Me: Because you dressed like a boy.
Sis: Bitch. You dressed like a geek.

I hope I still have followers after this post.


The Pink Chick said...

This post is hilarious! I love how candid you are about your life!

April said...

LMAO!!! Umm you sound just like me and my BFF.

PS I love your blog yet never comment cuz I'm lame.

New years resolution: comment here more...mwah ha.

Peppermint Bee said...

I can not say that I have not done that myself!

Jill said...

Sooo funny! Love your blog... very cute.

Anonymous said...

haha. Great post.

Thank you for following my blog. I hope to find some time soon to come and read many of you past blogs to catch up.


Tara Gibson said...

haha, love how candid you are!

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious!! Sounds like my sis and me:) I too have no desire NEVER EVER to subject myself to wearing a thong! V.S and Nordstrom both have some great thong alternatives for invisible panty lines.