Monday, March 2, 2009

A Lobster's Eye View

Unlike every other person in Charlotte, I'm sitting at my desk in my office slammed with work wistfully watching the snow melting out my window. I wanted to wow you with a fabulously frosty fun post today, but alas, I got pulled into a project for Madame P, and I'm very overwhelmed. I decided that it was high time for all of you lovelies to meet my darling Lobster for yourselves. I asked her to write a guest post, and the dear, did not disappoint. Without further ado, I bring you the highly talented, extra gorgeous, one and only Lobsterita...

One of the best and worst discoveries that Polka Dots and I have made is Plato's Closet. If you don't know what it is, PC is this fabulous hole in the wall in Cary, NC (and cities all over the country) where you can sell your clothes, and then PC sells them in their store. What a great way to make money, right? Wrong. PC is very picky about what clothes they sell in their store, and rightfully so. But we'll get to that in a minute.

Here are the rules, taken from Plato's Closet's website and adapted by us:

Clean out your crowded closet!

Or, when your bank account is super low after purchasing the college necessities (books, groceries, wine, apartment decorations, etc.), consult your depleting closet and pull out a pretty white dress that looks really new. Don't mind that coffee stain.

Bring in your gently used brand name clothing and accessories to Plato's Closet®. Most desired are items purchased within the past year.
Do really short tank tops from Target worn 4 years ago count?

Sign in with a team buyer and review the steps and time frame needed to complete your buy.
Give your address, two telephone numbers, your full name and and an emergency contact in order to address the "team buyer." If "team buyer" is not easily recognizable, just consult the 30-year old woman behind the counter wearing a gym class T-shirt with your college's logo on it, paired with some high-waisted mom jeans. You know what I'm talking about. After said woman argues with the type of bag you brought your recyclables in (because trash bags are so insulting to PC employees. Clothes MUST be brought in name brand shopping bags), she finally tells you that she'll call within 2 hours.

While you check out the latest arrivals at the store, a buyer will review your items based on a variety of criteria including: style, condition, brand and store's current stock levels.
You immediately leave the store, and get a call within 10 minutes, having to turn around...

The buyer will enter the buying criteria details into our computer system to create an offer for those items we would like to purchase.

Or "buyer" will take one look at your pretty, stylish, flattering clothes and decide that her gym shirt is way more stylish, and therefore won't even bother entering your clothing items into the computer system.

An offer to purchase your items will be extended to you.
"6 tank tops, 2 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of dress pants, 3 sweaters, 5 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets and a purse. We cannot accept some of these items because they aren't brand new or they are last season's. That'll be $2.36 for your 5 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets, your purse and 1 sweater. You could get $4.57 in store credit at Plato's Closet if you'd like..."

Once you accept the offer, the buyer will complete your transaction and you'll be on your way with some extra cash or a hot new outfit (or two or three).
You take the $2.36 along with your rejected clothes.

A week later, when your account is low again, you take the already rejected clothes back to Plato's Closet for round two, hoping they don't notice the fact that they've already seen these items. After repeating the above steps and not receiving an offer at all, you leave, noticing your old purse hanging on the wall for sale. And then you do what Polka Dots did. You find a convenient dumpster behind the shopping center and throw your 3 bags, but miss the dumpster as they land on the concrete in a parking space. You drive off, justifying it by assuming whoever parks in the spot will be so grateful to find a surprise waiting for them.

Polka Dots and I would come home after each visit to PC and decide it just wasn't worth it to have our beautiful valuables rejected by someone wearing sweatpants to work. But alas, the cycle continued throughout our low income days of college. Since moving to Charlotte, we're researching other ways to make money. Like donating our eggs.

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Bwahahaha...I love the last line. That's hilarious! :)

beth said...

Hey-I'm so sorry you didn't get to play outside in the snow. How often does it snow there in Charlotte?

KVW said...

This is my first time on your blog.That post had me in stitches. My friends and I have been laughing about the egg thing- I have an ad on facebook everytime I get on about that!

JGIWC said...

I miss PC! I got $150 from them once. I don't want to think about how good of a deal THEY got... I'd be sick.