Friday, March 13, 2009

Hips Don't Lie

I've been contemplating getting a part-time job to supplement the miniscule salary that my "real" job offers. I would love to do freelance PR or freelance writing, but there just aren't that many positions available for that. I was brainstorming the other night with Daddy and Little about what I can do to make more money. Daddy suggested bartending on weekends or after work. Little and I wrinkled our noses a bit at that because (1) it's way past my bedtime and (2) I don't know any kind of liquor drinks except Tom Collins, which makes me seem like a 72-year old man.

Frustrated I announced to my darling parents that I would just have to start working the lunch shift at the Uptown Cabaret, which is just up the street from my office. The Uptown Cabaret is a "classy, gentlemans club," and I surmised that I could make upwards of $100 for an hour of "work." Daddy thought for a few minutes about my plan and then told me with paternal wisdom, "To be a good working girl you have to be able to move your hips. As we all know, that doesn't happen when you move. There might be a stripping Special Olympics that you could try to join." Try as I might, I couldn't muster any annoyance because he is exactly right.

Instead of being able to pull off moves like these:



Mine end up looking more like these:

15 comments:

d.a.r. said...

Oh my gosh I am crying I am laughing so hard!!!!

The New Mrs said...

hahahahahaha. This is too funny!

sara said...

OMG, laughing my butt off.

kels said...

HILARIOUS! :)

April said...

I thought for a moment you might be serious...I was like...WTF...lol!

Europafox said...

hahaha - your Dad is hilarious!!

Simply Chic said...

You crack me up. ;-)

Christina said...

OMG! Too funny...I'm dying ;)

The Shabby Princess said...

Oh my gosh, hilarious!!

KRISTEN'S PALACE said...

i seriously just LOL'd .. funny post

Chasity M said...

Oh my gosh...this brings back bad memories. I lost at Truth or Dare and had to give my husband a lap dance (fully clothed) in front of friends. They are still laughing at my non-moves. = (

parkaveprincess said...

That's too funny! haha. Well i'm sure something will turn up soon :)

Denim and Pearls said...

You and me both.... these hips cannot move in a regular rhymthic pattern to save my life. A friend of mine tried to teach me a dance once and gave up after twenty minutes of me being unable to stay on the beat!

Piper Jacquelyn said...

Ahahaha! Pee Wee! I love it when he dances, so I would give you lots of tips if you danced like him! And no kidding- Tom Collins is pretty much my fave drink besides champagne, EVER!

Barefoot in the Park said...

HA! so funny. i remember ole pee wee's dances ...

i'd have to admit, i'd look alot like him too!