Sunday, March 8, 2009

Your Questions; My Answers Part II

This post will only address questions posed by one reader. Said reader didn't ask a question until Part I of my question-answer time, but his/her comment hurt and disturbed me. While I'm sure I should not respond, I felt as though I would be remiss not to address his/her questions.

Anonymous asked: Do you ever think critically about anything? About why you might feel the need to diet when you're obviously not fat? Do you ever examine your childhood fantasies about "playing house" and realize they are a bit sexist? I think your heading tells a lot about you--trying to be a grown up "lady"--what about trying to be a woman?
- I think this question would best be answered in parts, so here it goes:

a) Yes, I do think critically. In fact, critical thinking and finding creative solutions are strengths of mine and are noted as such on my resume. I would be happy to send you a copy, so you can see for yourself.

b) If you read my answer to the fitness question again, you will see that I never said that I was on a "diet," in context, the use of the word "diet" denotes my eating patterns in general, not a specific "diet plan." In fact, I'm adamant about not trying to stick to a diet. My senior year of high school I was 15 lbs. heavier than I am now. In a desperate effort to lose weight I abused laxatives for several months and damaged my digestive system for many months after that, and, of course, lost no weight. As many of you know, I spent my first semester of college at Virginia Tech, and I was utterly miserable. I became a stress non-eater and became extremely controlling of what I ate. For much of the duration of that semester I limited myself to consuming only 600 calories a day. Those 15 lbs. quickly fell off, but my metabolism is still feeling the repercussions of that irresponsible decision. I have maintained the weight loss, but only after a very long battle with myself in which I became realistic about my body, my diet (my eating patterns in general) and my weight. I can proudly say now, that I have an appreciation with my body, not a competition. Of course, there will be always be parts that I wish were smaller, firmer, stronger, etc, but now I eat and workout for my health and the endorphins it gives me, not to try and attain something impossible or unnatural for me. Diets are not part of that equation and never will be again.

c) Clearly I do not need to examine my reasons for playing House since you answered that one for me. I am unclear about why House is sexist, though. As a communication major, I spent the three and a half years of my college career exploring gender roles, role playing games, and gender development. I know that House is a gender-developing-role- playing game. I am not bothered in the least by that. I have and always will take my gender role from Scripture, particularly from Ephesians, which states, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." I believe that women are to serve their husbands as serving the Lord. Women are the only sex that can bear children, therefore, I have every intention of doing so. Women are to create households which uphold the Lord and serve His commands. In playing House, I was simply acting out a future that I fully intend to have... caretaking, nurturing and providing. Where is the sexism in that? If you read the rest of my answer, you will also see my intention to continue working. Working fulfills a creative outlet for me (much like this blog does), and if I am blessed to be able to continue that while also raising and providing for a God-fearing family, I will absolutely do that. I was raised in a family that stuck very closely to traditional gender roles - my mother was a stay-at-home mother raising 3 children while my father worked full-time. I will also defend maintaining those conventional feminine roles and remain unapologetic that I have a love of cooking, baking, cleaning, decorating and creating a home.

d) I also agree that my header tells a lot about me. I am joyful. I hope that I have created a blog that reflects my joy in living. As for the semantics of using the word "lady" vs. "woman," I guess to satisfy you, I will need to pull out my internal dictionary. To me, a woman is a fully-grown female. At 22, I am a woman; however, in many ways I also feel like a young girl trying to find my way in each new stage of my life. This blog candidly outlines my trials and adventures in doing so. To me, a lady is a woman who exudes grace, elegance, selflessness, determination, perseverance, wisdom, love, Christlike principles, maturity, loyalty and integrity. Those characteristics are ones that I am striving to possess, cultivate and nurture in myself. Again I turn to scripture and find the lady described in Proverbs 31, and I yearn to seek the Lord and allow Him to work in my heart and my life and create in me a heart after His own. I am already a woman, but that is what I mean by trying to be a "lady".

e) I will never, ever portray myself through this blog as someone that I'm not. I will never pretend to be greater than I am or someone different than who I was born. I will always write openly, candidly and honestly. If you disagree with the things that I write or the personality characteristics that I possess, I do not and will not apologize, but I will respectfully remind you that you do not have to read this. I am so thankful for the relationships that I have formed in the 2 months that I have been writing, and I thank you all for your encouragement and comments.

17 comments:

Sweet, Sassy, and Always Classy said...

Let's see what he/she has to say about THAT answer, my friend! Very well said. I agree with you completely that there is a huge difference between a woman and a lady, and the latter is something that should not be looked down upon. I don't understand why they say that's a bad thing? I'm so glad that you did not feel the need to apologize and compromise who you are! You are uniquely made by our Creator and pursuing your dreams. You shouldn't feel sorry about that. People these days...

KRISTEN'S PALACE said...

dont ever apologize for who you are. i hate annonymous comments, i just delete them actually. your beautiful. just smile and shrug people off like that.

Ashley said...

a very lady-like response! good job!

Emily said...

Seriously, who does anonymous comments? If you can't admit who you are when you say it, don't say it. Coward.

And I love it when people assume your "blog personality" is real life. Like in real life, we're all talking about pink and green and hearts and giggles? A blog is an outlet, a place where you don't have to deal with real life issues if you don't want. Don't let this person get you down, write anything you want. If he/she doesn't like it...he/she can simply not read your blog!!

Her Preppiness said...

A very lovely response!!!

d.a.r. said...

For what it's worth, I think you are really amazing. Even more so for responding to such ridiculous BS. I would have just deleted it because I don't have to guts to create such thoughtful, eloquent answers!

Puttin' On The GRITS said...

Wow...what a tasteless question. But a classy answer.

xoxo sarahbeth said...

beautiful, intelligent and articulate answer! I love reading your blog and whoever asked such pointedly cruel questions should be pleased that you handled it like a LADY! ♥

Piper Jacquelyn said...

I totally respect the honesty that you put forth! I can relate to a few of your answers as well - great job. Oh, and people can kinda suck sometimes huh? Haha, we all appreciate you & look forward to what you have to say, so keep it up!

Scarlet O'Kara said...

Polka Dot...

First let me say to you that I am so sorry that some coward has felt compelled to leave you such an awful comment. This is your blog and you can do or say what you want. If that person does not like it, then they do not have to read it.

Secondly, only people who are unsure of themselves leave anonymous comments.

Thirdly, thank you so much for your comment. And I will have to post photos of my before / after for both the weigh loss, as well as the landscaping.

Have a blessed day...

AJD said...

I just discovered your fabulous blog today and I am so glad I did. Your response is terrific and I can't wait to read more from you!

Hollie and Janie said...

Anonymous=coward!
I think you are a beautiful person, writer, and blogger! Please don't let "anonymous" read my blog.... I actually pretend my dog can type and upload pictures!!
Blogs are personal. They are our thoughts, feelings, emotions, loves, observations, and dislikes!
You bring so many smiles to all of us!!!!!
Hollie

USCEmily said...

Your answers to such a ludicrous comment/question were wonderful. I find your blog very refreshing and often-times amusing because you say things that are so true and you are never anyone but yourself. Keep on doing what you do!!

QueenBeeSwain said...

girl- you get a standing ovation from QueenBee for answering such a rude person in such a level-headed, to-the-point way.

rock it like you own it

kHm

Ruggy13 said...

Wow I'm 2 days late and anonymous hasn't responded!

Very good answer! you should never have to explain yourself to anyone but I'm sure it felt great to get that all out! very well said! I agree with it all

Colin's Mom said...

I just found your blog today by way of Sara at Southern Comfort. Admittedly, I had to see what response she was giving you credit for. I have no doubt it was this one and I have nothing but mad respect for you now! I came in not knowing a thing about you and I feel like I've gained so much insight into your personal character just through this one post. You're proud of who you are and I admire that! You're also a very eloquent writer. I'm going to follow you (not in the creepy way) now, so I can keep up with you.

Anonymous said...

well, I stand by what I asked. I do apologize if my comment hurt your feelings. I will remain anonymous because if I reveal who I am I know I might get trolls. Anyway, I think you did answer my questions--women should submit to their husbands? Yikes.

Your blog is an interesting peek into the life of a young woman who does not wish to challenge tradition. If you're happy with your life, good for you, but I think you're missing out on a lot by limiting yourself.

Also, I'm very glad I was mistaken about the dieting.

I won't post any more comments because we obviously have vastly different world views, and I'm not sure I could influence your thinking any more than you could mine.

Perhaps one day you might visit a few blogs that look at life differently? I recommend feministing.com and www.thismodernworld.com.