Rule #3

Before wearing shoes that are two sizes too big (because they were to-die-for and marked down from $79 to $11) to work...
1. Be sure that you can walk in them without falling up the stairs to your office.
2. Be sure that there are ample paper towels in the kitchen so you can stuff them in your toes and pretend like you don't walk out of the shoes every time you take a step.
3. Pretend you broke your leg (which you almost did when you tripped up the stairs) and therefore are unable to leave your desk to walk anywhere in the office.