Monday, January 5, 2009

Gettin' Carded

It is not unusual for me to be carded when I try to purchase alcohol. For one thing, I look like I'm 18 years old; for another, I've only been able to legally buy alcohol for a year, so it's probably a good thing they're still checking me.; however, I had an unusual carding experience last night at my friendly neighborhood Target.

Let me say that I am the opposite of a smoker. I'm a nonsmoker. Never tried it, never will. I do, however, purchase lighters from time to time for such mundane tasks as lighting candles (note: if you haven't already, please try Cinnabon's Caramel Pecanbon candle... it's truly amazing). At the Target register on Sunday night, I realized that I was out of matches and didn't have any lighters at home, so I casually picked up a pack of Bics and threw them into my basket.

At the register, Mr. Target Cashier was scanning my Ziploc bags, my dog toys from the dollar bin, etc, etc. After scanning the lighters he paused and asked if he could see some ID. I looked at him quizzically, then peered back into my basket wondering if I accidentally threw in a bottle of chardonnay. When I saw that indeed, I had not, I asked why my identification was needed. "You have to be 18 to buy lighters," he responded smoothly.

At this point I will pause and say that I know you must be 18 to buy cigarettes, and I know that most people purchase Bics to ignite their Marlboros, but a lighter is generically called a "lighter" because it can light many a mundane thing - candle wick, piece of paper, house, etc, etc. After handing this civically responsible Target worker my driver license and assuring him that while the license still says, "Under 21," I am actually 22, I argued with him about the logic of assuming that buying lighters meant that I was smoker. He wasn't very suave with our point-counterpoint discussion and continued scanning.

I asked Employee of the Month if I had to be 21 to buy koozies. He stared at me blankly. I explained to him that by following the logic that he began with my transaction, I must be of legal drinking age to purchase a koozie, because while it could - and frequently does - house my favorite Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper (because the girls on 90210 tell me to drink it), it is most commonly used to prevent frostbite on the hands of beer (and wine cooler - cough, cough) drinkers.

I feel confident that by defending my point and making my stance clear, Target Superworker will now seek to amend Target's laws about smoking and alcohol accessory purchasing. I'll try again when the butane runs out of my Bic special 5 pack.

3 comments:

Southern Sunshine said...

hilarious. i love you.

AppGal said...

your logic makes perfect sense :)

it's annoying getting carded, or just anyone thinking you're younger than you are. I work in a high school and OFTENTIMES get mistaken for a student. I guess I'll enjoy that when I'm truly old, right? :)

Southern Sunshine said...

PS my friend Emily Merritt told me today that she got carded last week for buying White Out. I mean, really?