Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Way The Cookie Crumbles

As many of you know, my dear real life friend aHr from Southern Sunshine is a teacher. I wish you all had a chance to meet and get to know her, because she is one big ball of sass fire rolled up in an itty bitty package. She is also one of the sweetest, most compassionate, Godly women I've had the pleasure to know. She was born to be a kindergarten teacher. As I mentioned though, the sweet girl is a dynamo, and when we talked on the phone last week she shared a story with me, that I had to share with the blogosphere.

Ave's school is in Raleigh, and she was regaled and delighted her readers with tales of such kinder-characters as Rattail (who recently had a makeover) and Mini Jay-Z. While she loves all of her children, apparently Jay-Z has been acting more like Lil Wayne than his Hova idol as of late. The trouble began when the little p-i-m-p began using his school meal account to buy himself snacks, which is against the rules. Accounts are only allowed during breakfast or lunch, and Jay was using them in between meals to fill his little wannabe-thug tummy.

To address the naughty behavior, Miss Ave sent a note home with tiny Sean Carter requesting that his mother rein in his spending and eating habits. Thinking the issue would be curtailed, aHr rested easy. The next day, however, the Jigga Man pulled a Moon Pie out of his bookbag.
- "Look, Miz Henderson, I got a big ole Moon Pie for my snack today."
- "Oh, Jay-Z, I love Moon Pies. Did your mom get them for you at Harris Teeter?"
- "Nah, Girl, I just got this from the cafeteria usin' my account."
- "Jay! Didn't you give your mom the note I wrote saying that you can't do that?"
- "I gave it to her, but now I'm hungry, so I used my account and got somethin' to eat. Problem. Solved."

Now, Southern Sunshine can outprep the prepsters, but girlfriend can just as easily out-gangster the gangstas. I've witnessed it firsthand, and the result isn't pretty. Ave immediately confiscated the sugary, Southern snack staple and placed it nonchalantly on her desk. As she continued her lesson she noticed Jay-Z's eyes flitting constantly between the board and his hostage Moon Pie. As she grew more and more irritated, she had an idea.

She was pacing the room describing the day's concept, and when she asked for questions, she gracefully hopped on her desk to perch whilst questions were being asked. She positioned her landing spot strategically and landed directly atop the wanton Moon Pie. "Whoops," she gasped with her steely gaze piercing straight into Jay-Z's. As his eyes began to water, Miss Henderson told him directly, "Rappers never cry."

She is being nominated for teacher of the year.


a.e. said...

I'm a bit shocked by your use of language, polka dot. Why is it okay to call a young person "wannabe thug" especially when it seems obvious that he is black? Would you/she say that if he were white? Also, I take issue with the "rappers don't cry" coment--why not? don't boys have a hard enough time as it is without being able to express a full range of human emotion?

QueenBeeSwain said...

straight thuggin'! she handled it in such a "young teacher who knows her stuff" way- can't believe some of the things that they have to put up with. I have a childhood friend that teaches in an inner-city ATL school- at Christmas the past two years she's had them write letters to soldiers in Iraq- last year she had to teach them how to write soldier after more than one letter was written "dear soulja boy..." ha!


Polka Dots & Protein Bars said...

Thank you for your comment, a.e. Truly, thank you for not leaving an anonymous comment. As a matter of fact, yes, I would use that language whether he was white or not. I have never ever claimed to be politically correct on this blog, and I never will. I stand by everything I write/wrote. If a person does not want to be labeled a thug - whatever race, color or gender - he or she should act like it or be raised that said behavior is tolerated. And for the sake of Southern Sunshine, the last quote about rappers not crying was merely added for humorous effect - she did not actually tell him that. I'm sorry that you were so clearly offended by this post. I'm sorry that you read into it so much instead of just enjoying a funny story. Thank you again for your feedback.

Piper Jacquelyn said...

AHHH hahahahaha. I love her. I think that's just about the most hilarious thing ever. I'm totally sharing this story with a friend that also teaches that is having similar "thug" issues with her 8-year-olds.

Anonymous said...

Impressed! She is amazing!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you haven't seen it! You have to! I'm sure you would love it :)

Blogalicious Designs said...

Ha!! Hilarious!!! ... and loved your response to "ae"

Preppy 101 said...

Thanks for commenting my blog today! Yay - another Vol Fan to add to my list!! Isn't Coach Kiffin just darlin'?? This story is so cute!! And your first commenter on this post is taking life waaaaaay too seriously. And I do believe that Lil' Wayne has a tattoo of a tear drop on his face - am I right? haha xoxo {I love rap music.}

Simply Chic said...

I am laughing so hard I am crying. LOVE your post today, you're a great writer.