Thursday, December 3, 2009

What Your Wardrobe's Been Missing

It's no secret that I adore tights. My drawers (no pun intended) are stuffed full of turquoise, fuschia, eggplant, lace, fishnet, polka dotted and more. I had a lovely lunch date earlier with the glorious Swanky Peach and planned to take a quick trip to American Apparel, which happened to be right next door.

I have to admit that American Apparel really freaks me out. I just don't understand it. I think most of their clothes are odd, but I'm determined to find a gem there - the perfect white tee, some incredible leggings, one of those dresses that can be worn 27 ways (although I explained to Swanky Peach that that concept stresses me out because I will feel obligated to get use out of all 27 ways, even if several are beyond fugtrocious and heinous... it's too much pressure for me).

Before our date I decided to peruse the Web site in order to strategically locate some potential treasures. My first click was on the hosiery section, assuming that would be a safe and fun locale. Unfortunately, not. Hosiery was my first and only stop. Why, you ask?

These:

Please, in the name of all that's good and right in the world explain to me why you need cheekless tights. I mean, they aren't even technically bottomless... you still have a string there. Who, pray tell, who decided that we as women were yearning for a way to feel the breeze on our behinds while keeping our legs toasty?

I wish I had more words. I'm speechless. This is one stocking I won't be looking for come Christmas day.

14 comments:

QueenBeeSwain said...

excuse me?! who thinks this up and then decides to manufacture and market it?!

kHm

Kora Bruce said...

OH MY LAWD.

Im peacefully scrolling through my blogger dashboard...and what do I see? Assless tights.

Oh man - I'm literally laughing out loud right now! Thats so creepy...

I read somewhere that the owner of AA is some creepy sexist guy... this might support that claim.

And don't worry, AA freaks me out just as much.

Yech

Mrs. Dew said...

OH NO! Please say it ain't so! That is ridiculouS!

Ams said...

Um.
So. I don't really have any words. Annnnd am a little traumatized!

Liana said...

what on earth!!! i can't imagine a purpose for htese!!

AshleyCarole said...

I have always been wary of AA and now I have a real reason to be! Those are redic!

Colin's Mom said...

Um, for chaps? Because you know every well respected lady needs a pair of chaps and of course she must wear tights underneath, right? (:

B.E.A said...

This is hilarious! Thanks for sharing and giving me a Friday laugh!!

Blair said...

AA freaks me out too! I'm not cutting edge enough to shop there. This is just wrong. You still have to wiggle them down to pee and the best part about tights is they smooth the giggle!

Kristin said...

I will admit I do dig a lot of AA's pieces. But EEEKKKKKKK. Why? Just why? My arse does not need to be showcased in such a manner. Ah ha ha

Annabel Manners said...

Hahahahhahah! I had these on my blog as well because they're just so bizarre. At least that store will always give us good material!

Heather said...

How strange!!!

Rachel H. said...

Are you kidding me?! That is the strangest thing that I've EVER seen!!

THE Stephanie said...

Oh good Lord above!! Those are just not right. Not right at all.