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Someone is attacking me with crap.
Seriously.
Someone is continually leaving me gifts of feces. I can't seem to understand why I've been blessed with such presents of friendship, but quite frankly, it's worn out its (non existent) welcome.
It started with bags of crap (Crapbags) and as of this morning has evolved into poo. on. my. door. unbagged. smeared. disgrossting. I just seriously don't understand why this is happening or who's doing it, but I'm about to catch that joker brown handed and make him/her pay. Dearly. Crappily.
So it seems that I have unintentionally narrowed my list of suitors from three until roughly one. And I also don't feel exceedingly alarmed at this result. Here's what I'd been working with.
The Pilot - sweet, handsome, generous guy. Potentially homo- or a-sexual. We've been spending time together since Thanksgiving, and he's yet to so much as hold my hand (although one night after a margarita or two, I guess he was feeling frisky and planted a big ole smooch on my cheek). He flies a lot, so he isn't in town often but asks me on great dates whenever he is. However, I think he will land safely (har har) in the friends zone.
The Chemist - funny, witty, tall, cute, albeit geeky chemistry professor with a penchant for velcro orthotics. I've enjoyed my time with him, but clearly the velcro has repelled former paramours, and he is overly enthusiastic for some lovin'. Purely the opposite of the Pilot, as it so happens, and also a major turn off for this girl. He's being shelved for now.
The Chef - I don't even really like that classification for him, but since everyone else is being categorized by occupation, that's what it will be for now. This fella has emerged from the pack as a reluctant front runner. When we first started fraternizing, I expressed bluntly that I had no desire to be interested in him. He'd dated several girls from church, and I didn't want to be another underline in his Bible, so to speak. He respected that, and thusly we began spending time together. And then more time together. And then he started winning out when I had multiple offers for dates. So without meaning to - in fact, actually meaning to do the complete opposite - I've fallen in like with The Chef. Funny, sarcastic, smart, driven, and kind, it appears that he's won out.
Anytime I blog about food I'm surprised that I don't do it more often. I love cooking. I love baking. I do both frequently, but rarely do I record my ventures here. I love cooking produce and seafood, in particular. My most recent obsession happens to be Brussels sprout. If you follow me on Twitter you'll see that I devote at least one tweet a week to this magical vegetable, and I truly believe that I have perfected the art of cooking these mini-cabbage delights.
As a church staff we recently (as in today) completed a five day juice (consuming juice and water only) fast in celebration of what the Lord has done through our church in the past five years (11,000+ salvations... unbelievable) and to develop a spirit of expectancy of what He will do in the next five. I was surprised that I didn't have more trouble on the fast. A self-confessed caffeine addict, I only experienced one caffeine headache despite dropping that habit cold turkey on day 1. I was not nearly as hungry as I expected I'd be, but what I missed the actual action of eating. And I discovered that I got really tired of sweet, fruity flavors really quickly. I didn't crave anything in particular... except these sprouts of goodness. I can't explain to you how badly at the end of day 2 I wanted just a bite of a Brussels sprout.
I hadn't grown up eating these sprouts. My mom abhorred them as a child and didn't make them for us. I just assumed I'd hate them because common kid-speak would advise that they were disgusting, and my mom's distaste for them only cemented that idea. A few months ago after tapping out the different ways I could eat asparagus, zucchini, squash, and broccoli, I happened upon a lovely little bag of Brussels sprouts in Harris Teeter and decided to give them a whirl. Try them. I promise you will not be disappointed. I just made up this recipe on the fly, but I'm thrilled with the results.
Roasted Brussels sprouts:
Chop tough ends off of Brussels sprouts then slice in half. Place all sprouts in an oven-safe casserole dish. Drizzle with olive oil. Coat with liberal amount of white balsamic vinegar (this is the secret, in my opinion. I think regular balsamic vinegar would be too strong, but the white is sheer perfection and gives them the ideal bite. I tend to put a lot on mine, but do it to taste). Sprinkle with black pepper and Tony Chachere's cajun seasoning (the other secret ingredient. I adore Tony's and put it on e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g). Top with liberal amount of coarse sea salt and one thin pat of butter (optional... I make them with and without butter and can't usually tell a difference. I think the butter just adds a nice finishing note). Place in 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes or until centers of sprouts are softened. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and enjoy.
Seriously, I'm drooling for these right now. I eat them almost daily and could really go for a big ole bowl as I type. It's 9:54 a.m.
This morning I hopped in the shower as I do every morning. I felt my foot hit something almost papery and assumed it was a Band-Aid that had washed off the previous day (clearly I love leaving trash in my shower). All of a sudden I felt a pain coursing through my foot. Looking down I realized I had managed to step directly onto a wasp, which was now violently attacking my ring toe. I shook it off and down the drain, but really? Who else does that happen to? My foot is now swollen, and my leg is partially numb. I kind of feel like Macaulay Culkin in My Girl. Let's hope my ending is a little less tragic. The Vadas in my life need me.
Y'all. My job? Wow. The things I get to do are just mind boggling. Please sock me in the face if I ever complain. Last night our worship team had a live recording for their upcoming worship CD and DVD. To say that it shook the house would be an extreme understatement. I just kept looking around and pinching myself that I get paid to produce these types of events. If you need a little musical inspiration or encouragement, please hop on iTunes and check them out as soon as possible.
