Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Match Project Day 3

Stats:
- My profile has been viewed 181 times.
- I've been winked at 42 times.
- I've received 23 emails.

Observations:
- The male attention that comes along with online dating isn't as enjoyable as I thought it might. It sort of makes me feel skeazy. Mostly because it's from skeazeballs.
- People with names like "shank_a_potamus" will never find a life partner. Not a human one anyway.
- "shank_a_potamus" likes to look at my profile.
- Most of the profiles of my female competition are very suggestive.
- Mine is not.
- I am instantly unattracted to with men that have children and are on Match.
- I'm even less attracted to the guys that say, "I have kids, but don't worry, they only live with me some of the time." Everybody loves a good part time dad.

I got asked to go on my first actual Match date yesterday. I'm sort of on the fence about going. On one hand we have a couple of mutual friends - namely, God and Jesus - on the other, I feel weird about truly meeting someone face to face. Lots of opportunity for extreme awkwardness. Maybe I'll send my sister instead and have her pretend to be me.

The chap in questions seems really normal, nice and down to earth, but he's on Match, so he clearly can't get dates in real life. Granted, I am too, but since I'm not paying for the service I don't think I really count. Eh. We'll call it a wash. I guess I'll go. It is all about journalistic integrity after all.

I've been messaging fairly regularly with the Limp Biscuit joker. I have to hand it to him, he's pretty clever. The kid loves himself a joke, but a fair number of them are pretty funny. And even more impressive, he has an insane knowledge of late '90s boy bands. I'm not just talking *NSYNC and BSB, he's pulled out 98 Degrees, Five, and West Life. He has also seen and appreciates the cinematic genius that is Mars Attacks.

I got an IM last night from a guy asking if I had more pictures I could send him. I'm pretty sure it was Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. Maybe he thought I was LaFawnduh 'cause, you know, I have "sandy blonde hair, pretty nice face, but" he's probably "just T.O.ed because I haven't sent him a full body shot yet."

Also, after trading a few messages with the guy I went to high school with, I finally said, "I think we actually might know each other. Did you go to our Our High School?" I haven't heard back. Clearly that was not a good move. The collision of cyber life and real life is rarely a smooth thing. Just ask Tiger Woods.

7 comments:

The Shabby Princess said...

A. The guy you went to High School with is obviously stupid if he doesn't want to hang out with you now. Obviously, I didn't know you in high school, but, you get the point. You're pretty awesome. He might not be. Enter "Chip Matthews from high school" (that was a Friends episode reference, which, I hope you got).

B. I'm dying at the Kip comment.

C. A vast knowledge of 90s boy bands and cinematic genius is a total plus. I'd divorce my husband if he couldn't stand my car ride recording studio sessions to 98 Degrees, old school Britney and my need to watch Empire Records at least once a month.

The Shabby Princess said...

PS. It takes me a long time to write a comment on your blog because I want to make sure it's witty enough for my blog bff. Obviously.

kLl said...

Sounds like this dude might actually be rather entertaining. Perhaps meet for coffee and have your sister sit across the room for emergency evacuation? Shank_a_potamus? Please tell me that is really for real his match name. Oh Kip, could he be any more...Kip? Keep the hilarity coming my dear!

Black Labs and Lilly said...

You have to check out meetmeoffline.wordpress.com when you have the time. It is co-written by one of my IRL friends and it gives a very realistic view about what to expect when meeting guys for a date that you have meet through an online dating service. Its really well written and the stories are funny, it might put you at ease a bit!

Candy said...

Wishing you the best of luck with your date! Hoping it turns out better than you think :) xo

Anonymous said...

Definitely agree if you meet the guy, bring your sister along!! But I am still laughing at the Tiger Woods comment. Hilarious.

Barefoot in the Park said...

i triple heart your kip comment.