When Papaw passed away at the end of March, I knew that I would always miss him. I mourned his loss, but I also celebrated his life. I was so joyful that he was free from the pain that his melanoma caused and that he wasn't weary from the fight anymore. I wasn't prepared, though, for the pain that hits me like a ton of bricks at least once a week. Father's Day was emotional without him. Before Friday's road trip to Cary, the beau and I put together jammin' driving CDs. I added some of my current favorite songs including tracks from Paper Tongues, Muse, Amy Grant and Jars of Clay. As the opening notes of Amy Grant's "Better Than A Hallelujah," filled the car, I started crying and just couldn't stop. Unfortunately the next song was Jars of Clay's version of "I'll Fly Away." I used both when making the video we played during Papaw's memorial service. The tears didn't stop for a long time, and they'll probably come many more times in the future, but I'm thankful that laughs and smiles at his memory will accompany them.